Thursday, August 25, 2016 - 5:30 am
Dear Abby, said someone from Oregon, I am having trouble with my boyfriend’s attachment to an ancient gallon of milk still full in his refrigerator. I told him it’s me or the milk, is this unreasonable? Dear Carolyn, my brother won’t speak to me because fifty years ago I whispered a monkey would kidnap him in the night to take him back to his true family but he should have known it was a joke when it didn’t happen, don’t you think? Dear Board of Education, no one will ever remember a test. Repeat. Stories, poems, projects, experiments, mischief, yes, but never a test. Dear Dog Behind the Fence, you really need to calm down now. You have been barking every time I walk to the compost for two years and I have not robbed your house. Relax. When I asked the man on the other side if you bother him too, he smiled and said no, he makes me feel less alone. Should I be more worried about the dog or the man?