The New Better Off
From college dorms to cohousing communities, living with other people can be chaotic and messy. Our columnist considers that these tensions may actually be healthy and essential to building resilient community.
President Trump called the mass shooting in Las Vegas “an act of pure evil.” Courtney questions why we use the word “evil” to explain such violence. And, she argues, why we should stop making that moral bargain.
At a certain point, we come to the realization that our mothers have interior lives entirely separate from us. On the conceptual challenge of seeing our mothers as whole human beings.
An unexpected letter landed on our columnist’s doorstep the other day. It contains a surprising lesson on the meaning of community — and an opportunity to open up to a fellow flawed and striving human being.
White supremacy is newly palpable in unsettling, violent ways. But what if our public conversation about race can encourage a new, redeemable, and joyful whiteness to come to the fore?
We need to get wiser about efficiency — about when it’s a good thing, and when it saps us of the slow and messy connections that help us learn, grow, and thrive.
In her cohousing community in Oakland, our columnist is experiencing something all-too-rare: deep friendships across generations. What if we turned more actively to the wisdom — and plain old good company — of our neighbors, older and younger?
Our columnist gets honest about missing true solitude as a mother of young girls, and reflects on how crucial it is for women to carve out space to nurture no one but themselves.
After reading Hanya Yanagihara’s novel “A Little Life,” our columnist grapples with the reality of suffering that doesn’t make us stronger.
Can being lost be productive? Our columnist on lingering in the mystery of our purpose — and surrendering to the paths that choose us.
Shame and defensiveness about racism are not the path to change. Our columnist extends a challenge to white progressives, and to herself: to face the reality of deeply embedded racism directly, and to resolve to change the prejudices that remain.
Do we second-guess ourselves to the point of poisoning the trust in our own abilities?
Might our obsession with every tweet and news bite be too much? The difference between misguided fixation and engaged awareness — and how to redirect our attention to what really matters.
The personal growth that comes from activities we do for joy, rather than status or reward — whether it’s painting murals or sprucing up cars, pick-up basketball or beekeeping.
In the shadow of tremendous loss, a message about the gifts we are to each other, the raw truth of who we are, and what really matters.
Sometimes we need to trick our hearts to make great art — and do the things that most scare us.
A reflection on the emotional drain of civil conversation, and how we can reframe our thinking to see the best in each other — even those we deeply disagree with.
Parenting is a joy and a gift — but we should also give parents space to acknowledge the lost freedoms of youth that they miss. Courtney looks wistfully back to what life was like before her daughters, alongside the huge love and gratitude she feels for motherhood.
Can we learn to be tender even if we can’t fix each other’s pain? How would our world be different if men had permission to be vulnerable in public?
Creating a false division between life and work has its own pitfalls.
College rejection and acceptance letters are in the post this time of year. Our columnist drops truth on how rejection can teach us to find value in ourselves, and not in the affirmation of the decision-making process of an admissions department.
What if we learned to trust in the resilience of our relationships, and recognized the occasional necessity of butting heads with the ones we love?
The elemental closeness of a mother to her children, and to her own body.
Passing the baton. Gathering with others. Taking the long view. Lessons on persisting and persevering, even when we feel exhausted by it all.
Courtney Martin on the questions we learned to be afraid to ask, and how our quest for the answers shapes our lives moving forward.
It can feel painful to reflect on our mortality — especially the mortality of our loved ones. But maybe embracing the reality of death can help us to fear it less, and appreciate the wonder of life all the more.
Courtney offers up a fear- and judgment-free space, and draws forth the perspectives of women who don’t have kids, by choice or otherwise.
Whether to have children is one of the most life-defining decisions we will make. And there is joy and meaning to be found on either path — as well as endless challenges and frustration. Courtney Martin on why the best place to turn for guidance is inward.
Anger can be a powerful motivator. But we must also remember to build something bolder on the foundation of expansive love.
Are we unconsciously selective about the causes we mobilize for? Courtney Martin asks the uncomfortable question: when do we choose to show up, and for whom?
Courtney shares the practical insight of a wise elder — on the tumultuous history we’ve lived through, and the work we must do to shape our future differently.
Real love for our nation calls us to look at ourselves, as citizens, whole. A long view on the future of a beloved and broken America, and our potential to shape it moving forward.
If you could speak to a passed friend or family member, what would you say? An exploration of the healing that can happen when we stay in relationship with the ones we love, even beyond the end of life
Like all of us, Courtney Martin wants the best for her family, and rightly so. But from education to strollers, the best is often only accessible to a certain group. She reimagines responsible parenting as embodied care for one’s own, as well as for the families of strangers.
Courtney Martin on C. Nicole Mason’s new memoir and turning toward what’s uncomfortable to witness, and then acting on what we feel.