What to Expect

found in the index of What to Expect When You’re Expecting:

Expect accidents. Expect acne, additives, age, and airbags. Expect
alcohol, allergies, and altitude. Expect analgesics. Expect animals,
ankles, and antidepressants. Expect autopsy findings. Expect
bathing, bending, botanicals, and breaking news. Expect bruises.
Expect cabbage leaves. Expect castor oil and cats. Expect cell
phones, chemicals, Chlamydia, and clay. Expect cleaning products,
cocaine, and cold weather. Expect computer monitors. Expect
copper, costs, and coughing exercises. Expect dance workouts
and death. Expect diving, Doppler, driving, and dromedary
droop. Expect embarrassment. Expect electric blankets and equal
employment. Expect eyes and facials. Expect failure, fantasies, fast
food, and feet. Expect fig bars, fingernails, fish, flying, football,
and freckles. Expect fruit juice. Expect gardening. Expect German
measles, grains, grief, and guns. Expect hair. Expect heat lamps
and hiccups. Expect hiking, horseback riding, hot tubs, and hot
weather. Expect hypnosis. Expect ice skating, insect repellent, and
itching. Expect jet lag and jogging. Expect kick-boxing. Expect K-Y
jelly. Expect lacerations and laser eye surgery. Expect lead exposure
and lovemaking. Expect manicures, marijuana, masks, and meat.
Expect meditation, milk aversion, and moles. Expect mosquito
bites and music. Expect nasal strips. Expect nicotine patches, noise,
and NutraSweet. Expect on-line drug shopping. Expect optimism.
Expect organ donation and organic produce. Expect outside
influences. Expect paint fumes, pasteurization, peanuts, pesticides,
and pets. Expect pins and needles. Expect raspberry leaf tea.
Expect red palms, reduction, religious belief, and rest. Expect ribs,
ripening, and risk. Expect rowing machines. Expect saddle block.
Expect safety, saliva, and salt. Expect scalp stimulation and scuba
diving. Expect seat belts, sex, and shoes. Expect skiing and skin
sampling. Expect smells. Expect softball, stockings, and stomach
bug. Expect sugar, sunblock and sushi. Expect tai chi, tears, teeth,
and ticks. Expect toes, touching, train travel. Expect vaporizers,
vegetables, and vision. Expect warts and water, workouts and witch
hazel. Expect x-rays. Expect yoga and zinc.

“What to Expect” was used with permission of the author, and comes from the book Tasty Other, Copyright © 2016.

This poem was originally read in the Poetry Unbound episode “Katie Manning — What to Expect.”