Krista Tippett: The practice of tonglen that Devendra Banhart spoke of is so magnetic. And after being in this conversation with him, it became something that I’ve experimented with and that other people who listened have experimented with. So for this reflective space, I want to actually share with you from Pema Chödrön’s book When Things Fall Apart about how you can experiment with the tonglen practice for yourself. I highly recommend that you get this book and that you can read more expansively about it.

But for now, here’s what you can take in. Consider, first of all, that tonglen can be a formal meditation practice, or it can be done, as she says, on the spot. We are out walking, and we see someone in pain, and right on the spot, we begin to breathe in that person’s pain and send out relief. And here are four stages that I’m going to summarize, for making tonglen a bit more of a formal meditation practice. First, rest your mind briefly, for a second or two, in a state of openness or stillness. Second, work with texture. These are Pema Chödrön’s words. Breathe in a feeling of hot, dark, and heavy, a sense of claustrophobia, and breathe out a feeling of cool, bright, and light, a sense of freshness. Breathe in completely, through all the pores of your body, and breathe out, radiate out completely, through all the pores of your body. Do this until it feels synchronized with your in and out breaths.

Third, work with a personal situation, any painful situation that’s real to you. Traditionally, you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, if you are stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you are feeling, and simultaneously for all those just like you, who feel that kind of suffering. For instance, if you are feeling inadequate, you breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat, and you send out confidence and adequacy or relief in any form you wish.

Finally, she writes, make the taking in and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extend it out to those who are in the same situation as your friend. If you are doing tonglen for someone you see on television or on the street, do it for all the others in the same boat. Or you could do tonglen for people you consider to be your enemies, those who hurt you or hurt others. Breathe in their pain, and send them relief.

“As you do this practice,” she writes, “gradually, at your own pace, you will be surprised to find yourself more and more able to be there for others, even in what used to seem like impossible situations.” She writes, “As you do this practice gradually, at your own pace, you will be surprised to find yourself more and more able to be there for others, even in what used to seem like impossible situations.”

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