Utterly Humbled by Mystery

Monday, November 6, 2017 - 4:30 pm

Utterly Humbled by Mystery

I believe in mystery and multiplicity. To religious believers this may sound almost pagan. But I don’t think so. My very belief and experience of a loving and endlessly creative God has led me to trust in both.

I’ve had the good fortune of teaching and preaching across much of the globe, while also struggling to make sense of my experience in my own tiny world. This life journey has led me to love mystery and not feel the need to change it or make it un-mysterious. This has put me at odds with many other believers I know who seem to need explanations for everything.

Religious belief has made me comfortable with ambiguity. “Hints and guesses,” as T.S. Eliot would say. I often spend the season of Lent in a hermitage, where I live alone for the whole 40 days. The more I am alone with the Alone, the more I surrender to ambivalence, to happy contradictions and seeming inconsistencies in myself and almost everything else, including God. Paradoxes don’t scare me anymore.

When I was young, I couldn’t tolerate such ambiguity. My education had trained me to have a lust for answers and explanations. Now, at age 63, it’s all quite different. I no longer believe this is a quid pro quo universe — I’ve counseled too many prisoners, worked with too many failed marriages, faced my own dilemmas too many times and been loved gratuitously after too many failures.

Whenever I think there’s a perfect pattern, further reading and study reveal an exception. Whenever I want to say “only” or “always,” someone or something proves me wrong. My scientist friends have come up with things like “principles of uncertainty” and dark holes. They’re willing to live inside imagined hypotheses and theories. But many religious folks insist on answers that are always true. We love closure, resolution and, clarity, while thinking that we are people of “faith”! How strange that the very word “faith” has come to mean its exact opposite.

People who have really met the Holy are always humble. It’s the people who don’t know who usually pretend that they do. People who’ve had any genuine spiritual experience always know they don’t know. They are utterly humbled before mystery. They are in awe before the abyss of it all, in wonder at eternity and depth, and a Love, which is incomprehensible to the mind. It is a litmus test for authentic God experience, and is — quite sadly — absent from much of our religious conversation today. My belief and comfort is in the depths of Mystery, which should be the very task of religion.


This essay was originally published by NPR’s This I Believe series. It is reprinted here with permission.

Share Post

Contributor

is founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His many books include Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, and most recently, Divine Dance. You can sign up to receive his daily meditations here.

 

Share Your Reflection

Reflections

  • Gabby

    I really appreciated these words you shared: “My scientist friends have come up with things like “principles of uncertainty” and dark holes. They’re willing to live inside imagined hypotheses and theories. But many religious folks insist on answers that are always true. We love closure, resolution and, clarity, while thinking that we are people of “faith”! How strange that the very word “faith” has come to mean its exact opposite.” There is a great difference between unbounded curiosity about the working of things followed by seeking to understand, which characterizes the scientific approach (Lisa Randall captured this nicely in her recently reposted interview with Krista), and needing to rush to closure on important questions, which science does not. Many who dismiss science as quickly as they can do so out of a false belief that science likes to claim certainty before all the facts are in. Science is, rather, about collecting more and more evidence, including explicitly seeking evidence that might disprove prevailing theories.

  • Ellen Collins Schaffer

    My mind has been blown by reading this and the previous post by Rebecca Delker in sequence. I will be ruminating on both for awhile. I had a reaction similar to Gabby’s regarding the media when I read Delker’s post. I feel the “sound bitizing” of info conflates or trivializes important work or ideas and effectually kills an one’s curiosity to explore, research, or educate them-self.

  • Pingback: Newsletter 11/13 | On Being()

  • George Fanning

    Hi Richard, I find freedom in reading the above. I also enjoyed the interview. What I do struggle with is the that though I do not mind ambiguity and the challenges that it can bring I find in reading of the scriptures that their seems little room for ambiguity. Perhaps I am trained to read them that way and see them as walls rather than a path?

  • Pingback: Reinvigorating Our Public Life | On Being()