I’d like to get ahead of the curve, so I’ve already started to think about my new year’s resolutions for next year. Or, as I like to call them, “Well-Intended Fantasies About How I Can Become a Better Person That Will No Doubt Fizzle Out Sometime Around January 3.” WIFs for short.

According to the people closest to me, I am a candidate for many forms of self-improvement. I can’t really argue with these people — if I did, I might be deprived of vital services. So, in an earnest effort to change my life before my WIFs expire, here is a poem by Portia Nelson called “Autobiography In Five Short Chapters.” In the following year, I’m hoping to get, oh, I don’t know… Maybe to the end of Chapter 3?

“Autobiography In Five Short Chapters”
by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost….I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

(Excerpted from There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. Read the full poem here.)